This is one of those longer drawings (done at Atelier Stoker’s Sunday session … that leave a lot time for a wandering mind. What do you think about when painting?
I always catch myself wondering what people will say. Maybe how much they’ll love it and upvote it everywhere … or hate it. How I could sell the result – or rip it apart if it goes wrong. It’s a distraction.
When reading an 2500 year old Hindu scripture that evening, I found a line quite fitting to the problem.
“Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty. …
Those who want to enjoy the fruits of their work are misers.”
Bhagavad-Gītā (Chapter 2 verse 47/49)
An option I strangely never thought of, but I’ll give it a shot: Ignore thoughts of rewards and reactions. It’s a waste of time and not what it should be about. It’s not about the resulting piece even. It’s the process. Which is not done when the picture is.
Ink Figure – Ink on A2 paper (sold)
Recently I’m drawing more from memory than from reference. It’s an interesting exercise to pull those images out of the mind – they’re in there, but resisting.
Strangely – one can always see when it went wrong. Here are some of the better ones: A drawing from an event some months earlier, and some animals.
Little get-together at the bonfire.
A couple of dogs
Various animals from memory. Not showing the Iguana here, failed even after two weeks trying.
Some more impressions from Italy – mostly from walking around aimlessly through the nature and cities in Tuscany (see the first sketches here).
Toscana area (Chianti) at the evening.
(Markers on Moleskine sketchbook)
Forest in the Toscana
(Markers on Moleskine)
View to Siena’s city center – with the Duomo throning on top what seems like a medieval sky scraper.
Stairs leading around the Duomo in Siena.
Various Impressions from the Toscana traveling. Had some encounters with boars and an owl in touching distance.
Long time, no Sketchbook. Some more pages from the end of 2009. Amsterdammers might even recognize one or the other place. I’ll leave it to you to guess.
Also, since we’re at the topic of Amsterdam: I’m desperately in need of a studio. It’s tough to find an affordable cozy place, with nice light. If anyone knows anything in or around West, please let me know.
On another note: I also added new conceptart to the website indie-game I’m working on.
This and the next 2 are musicians playing
at the … oops, didn’t wanna tell. The Woodwards is really nice country … kinda from Amsterdam. He’s playing again tomorrow in the Jet-Lounge btw. – I can really recommend it.
The following band actually noticed me sketching and played a song about artists for me, thanks… and sorry for forgetting the name
More of my 2009 sketchbook – the first ones are drawings for a game I dabble on since 8 years or so. One day… One day.
Here is another portrait from my Friday-sessions.
And a little sketch from the last Sketchgroup – the meeting of conceptartist and draftsmen from Holland. This time we’ve met in Rotterdam. Good times, even if not as productive as last time.
Random scribble from the recent Sketchmeet. The colors are odd - I used the pen of Garry first, and then mine of the exact same kind, and it looks very different. Kinda nice though.
Uh, lots of pictures I still plan to post, but no time. Have been heavily procrastinating on all matters but painting – not enough self promo, not enough money making … and the worst: tax reports. They are giving me nightmares even with the few dusty coins I have to declare.
One very nice blog post relating to this futile artists life: “When an artist falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it…”. It’s from Illustration art – one of the most wonderful art blogs I know.
I’ll just add two quickly snapped work in progresses for now: This is a painting I will finish this Sunday. Head, second hand, legs, breasts…. all in one last sitting. This will be a challenge.
I have a good feeling, but then again – I always do. I really find myself a 100% in this quote by Bouguereau:
“Starting a picture is very pleasant, for you always believe that this time you’re going to create a masterpiece; you take pains, and little by little the painting takes shape, the effect comes through. You feel marvelous sensations. When it’s done however things are different. You want to touch up the arm, the movement of the body doesn’t seem graceful…and you end up doing nothing for fear of having to redo the whole thing completely.”
I took this from another great blog – Art and Influence – it’s full of interesting art history, in a much more relatable way that you see in your usual art book.
Yesterday night I came from a concert with Konrad and Robert. When I looked down I noticed that I got shoes on. Which was weird to me, because I distinctively remembered how I was only in socks when I got in.
As I thought about it, I noticed more odd things – Jay Leno was the security guard back then, but his face didn’t look like him anymore.
I said: “Maybe this is a dream.”… It felt a bit offensive to tell my companions that they are not real but my imagination. They just shrugged. And as I looked at the surrounding I was sure the idea was ridiculous. Surely a dream would not feel so real. It didn’t matter that we just walked though the backyard of a video-games store which featured as promotion for a racing game an original sized replica of the great canyons (pretty nice I must say).
I woke up shortly after that.
Wait, whats goin on?
I told the story to a friend. As we were walking through a supermarket I told her how odd it was that a dream can feel so immersive and like such a rich experience.
For a moment there I was just checking if this is maybe a dream again – but it was just impossible. This felt real – this must be. Surely a dream is more blurry – simpler, more like a movie.
Mind you, I was walking around in underpants, since I lost my clothes (long story). But it didn’t matter much – odd things happen all the time, right?
I had this a third time last night. And each time my logical brain picked up the right hints and made the conclusion to the point: These things usually just happen in dreams. But it was unable to convince me – my experiencing self was convinced this had to be the real world.
This is the first night I have this so specifically. But I’m working on it since a while. Every now and then I try to consider if I’m just dreaming. Hoping that when I get used to it, I might do it sometimes in my dreams. As it turns out – it is tough to check. How do I know? I can tell from this night that you can’t just feel it. It doesn’t lack “realness”.
The telltale signs could have been the logical inconsistencies – but I wonder how much we have of those all day. I think we’re surrounded by them. Things we don’t understand – or don’t pay attention to. Misjudgments. Unhappy accidents. Weird conversations.
I will continue the research. So far though: I can’t tell if I’m dreaming right now.